Fake Bake

(Photo courtesy of Jonathan)

Last spring I discovered the wonders of spray tan.  I dutifully visited my local Planet Tan 3-4 days a week.  Having been cursed with pasty white skin, I loved my my golden tanned body.  I had the best summer of my life.  It is amazing what a golden body and a little self-esteem can do for you.

Once school was in session again, I dropped my membership.  There just wasn't enough time to stop off and get sprayed before heading home to help with homework and listen to the fine stylings of Jonathan on his tuba.  I promised my new friends at Planet Tan that I would be back in March or April to prepare for swimsuit season.  But, alas, it was not meant to be.  With extra expenses, I could not justify my beautiful golden tan.  Yet, I hate looking at my pasty white skin.

So, what is a girl to do?

While shopping for some hair care products at Ulta, I came across the sunless tanning lotion.  I made a somewhat small investment in Fake Bake.  It came with rubber gloves.  This made me a little nervous.  This must be serious stuff if they need to include gloves. Yet, I persevered.  It went on dark.  Really dark.  I was somewhat frightened, but kept going.  I gave the bottle and the gloves to my darling husband and asked him to put it on my back.  I was trying to explain to him that he should use it sparingly.  Before I could get the instructions out of my mouth, I felt cold running down my back.  He had taken the bottle and just squirted large amounts all over my back. He had squirted so much that he couldn't rub it all in.  I looked Hispanic on my back.  I was really scared at this point.  This morning when I woke up.  The colors were much lighter and I was very relieved.  Fred said he couldn't see any streaks.  He might have been trying to save himself. 

Oh, Planet Tan, how I miss you!