30 Days of Gratitude - Day 22

Today (and everyday) we remember our sweet Aunt Judy and we are so very grateful for the years that we had with her.  More than anyone that I've ever known, she taught me how to have Christlike love for others.  Every single person was better for having known her.  And, she didn't even know it.  She didn't even realize that she changed lives for the better. 

I want to be more like my Aunt Judy.

10 Things I Learned From My Aunt Judy

Today would have been my Aunt Judy's 72nd birthday.  She died on November 22, 2010.  We all miss her so much. She was the kindest and most gentle person in our family.

Here are ten things that I learned from my Aunt Judy:

10. Live everyday with a happy heart.

9. Have a Christlike love for everyone around you.

8. Forgive easily.

7. Laugh.

6. Be thankful for everything you've been given.

5. Love those great-nieces and nephews like they are your grandkids-- lots of love and memories will be made!

4. Save everything.  You never know when you might need it.

3. Be courageous and endure to the end.

2. Sisters always have your back.

1. Elvis is still the King.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Judy!  We love you and miss you everyday!

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 28

I am so very thankful for my Aunt Judy.  I think about her and remember her all the time, but I especially remember her during this time of the year.  There are several reasons that she stays on my mind at Thanksgiving and Christmas: 1) She left this earthly world on November 22, 2010 - right before Thanksgiving.  2) She loved spending time with her family and loved the holidays.  3) And, most importantly, she taught me to count my blessings each and every day.  What an amazing person she was.  She will always be Our Sweet Judy!

Generations

“There are few things more powerful than the faithful prayers of a righteous mother.”

-Boyd K. Packer

I want to wish everyone a Happy Belated Mother’s Day to those that have children, or who have influenced the life of a child.  You are appreciated. 

I am really kicking myself for not taking pictures yesterday.  We had a wonderful day.  I love that Mother’s Day is celebrated on Sunday.  I love being treated extra-special at church.  At our church being treated special means they ply you with chocolate all day long.  Treat after treat was passed out and there were so many talks and lessons about mothers and families that touched my heart.

After church, we had my parents over for an early dinner.  Let me tell you, this family knows how to prepare for an early dinner.  We had barbecue chicken in the Crockpot and potato salad already prepared in the refrigerator.  After church, you don’t stand between the Fortenberry’s and dinner. 

Afterwards, we had a fun and informative Family Home Evening.  We learned about our family ancestors.  MaMaw, Grady, Fred and I all shared a picture and a story about a family ancestor.  We all learned something new and saw pictures that we hadn’t seen before.  Fred thought the kids already knew about his dad, but they really didn’t know anything about him.  Jonathan had plenty of questions about his grandfather.  The best part was that Jonathan also had plenty of HARD questions for Grady and then commented that Grady took way too long on his turn. 

We learned that Grady had a pet pig when he was growing up and we learned that half of my grandfather’s family was born in Tennessee and the other half was born in Arkansas.  Jonathan wanted to know which siblings were born in Tennessee and which were born in Arkansas and what years they were born.  I just love Jonathan’s questions.  He keeps you on your toes.

MaMaw taught us about her grandmother, Dovie.  We learned that she had three sons and two grandsons deployed in WWII at the same time.  And, the biggest thing that we learned was that Aunt Judy was everyone’s favorite, but MaMaw isn’t bitter!

Fred taught us about his Dad that left this earthly world way too soon.  He told us about how he was stung by a jellyfish and how he later had to have his leg amputated.  He also told us about fishing trips and father/son campouts.  He and his dad and enjoy doing much of the same things that Fred and Jonathan enjoy doing.  Hopefully, these hobbies will pass on to Jonathan and his son, too.

I told about my Granny.  We talked about how she played basketball and softball in school, and how she only went to school until the 8^th grade.  This was confusing to my kids, but we explained that was very common back then.  The best story that we told was that she married my Papa on December 24, 1929.  The marriage was witnessed by my Papa’s brother and his date.  After the wedding, they each went back to their own homes.  They hadn’t told their parents and my granny was afraid that her daddy was going to kill her.  I think her sister eventually ratted on her.  I passed around pictures and her billfold. 

At first the kids weren’t sure what to make of this activity, but they quickly warmed up and had a great time.   As we started spouting out little known and interesting facts, they really started enjoying the activity.  It is so very important for us to remember and to learn about our ancestors.

“There really can be a bond and a sense of belonging that ties together generations. ... This bond gives us a sense of identity and purpose. Our ties with the eternal world suddenly become very real, sharpening our life’s focus and lifting our expectations. ... We can discover within ourselves a reservoir of patience and endurance that we never will find without the deep commitment that grows from a sense of real belonging. Exerting such immovable loyalty to another person teaches us how to love – indeed, how to be more like the Savior. Our sense of belonging to one another...foreshadows our belonging in the eternal family of God. Our willingness to discipline our individual desires enough to honor [our] loved ones prepares us to belong to Him who is our Father.” Bruce C. Hafen, Liahona, June 1998, 16

Season of Joy: Day 23

Gift Bag Fail!

 

I have about a bazillion gift bags.  I decided that I was going to bag up every single gift and that I was only going to wrap the gifts for my kids.  I was tired and I was going to take the easy way out.  I had so many bags and they were annoying me.  I finally pulled every single one out and started sorting through them, so that I could decide which ones to keep and which ones to toss.  And, then I found this bag that had a tag from my Aunt Judy.  She died 2 years ago in November.

 

Don't you just hate finding things like that?  I thought about crying, but instead I listened to an Elvis Christmas song in her honor and kept going. 

 

We love our Aunt Judy and wish she could be with us, but Heavenly Father had other plans for her.

Thank Ye

Thanksgiving marked the two year anniversary of the day that my Aunt Judy passed away.  We were going to be out of town on Thanksgiving, so we decided to stop by the cemetery on our way out of town on Wednesday.  I had a special, but slightly cheesy memorial planned.  However, there was a crazy mix-up with  the flowers.  I had forgotten to go to Hobby Lobby for flowers.  Fred was really upset that we weren't bringing flowers and he felt really strongly that we needed to stop and get flowers.  He stopped at Brookshires to get live flowers (which I didn't think was a good idea, but could tell how determined Fred was).  While there, I told Fred that I didn't think we should get any, because they were really picked over.  Fred, again, was seriously determined about these flowers.  So, we bought two bunches of yellow flowers.  They were bland and boring, but that was all they had.  When we arrived at the cemetery, we realized that my mom had already put beautiful silk arrangement in the little vase that sets on her grave.  Again, I told Fred that we needed to not use our flowers.  I told him that we should look for someone that didn't have any flowers in their little vase.  But, Fred was determined that Judy should have HIS flowers.  He began "lobbing" his flowers in the middle of moms.  I kept telling him that my mom was going to kill us, but he kept lobbing his flowers in the middle of her arrangement.  I could tell that he didn't care that he was messing up her arrangement, so I tried to tastefully work our flowers in.  Seeing that these flowers were causing me great distress, he called my mom to let her know what we were doing.  She must have thought we were crazy.  I can just hear Judy saying, "Thank ye.  Thank ye, Fred."  I wasn't saying that at all, because I was wanting to strangle him at that point and time.  Now, I think it is really sweet that he was so determined to put flowers on my aunt's grave.

After I got over the flower catastrophe, we said a prayer and played Aunt Judy's favorite hymn, "How Great Thou Art," by Elvis.  It was a really special moment and Jess and I were really feeling it until the boys starting talking during our hymn.  Oh well.  You can only do so much!  We tried to make it a special moment.  And, for the most part, we succeeded.

Gratitude: Day 22

On this Thanksgiving day, I am grateful for my sweet Aunt Judy.  She left this eartly world 2 years ago today.  Heavenly Father took the sweetest member of our family.  She had a heart of gold and loved every person she met.  She was always quick to help and quick to be a friend.

We miss and love her so much!

Hunka Hunka Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich

It has been an Elvis kind of week!  Today at work the party committee served up peanut butter and sandwiches in honor of Elvis.  They buttered them up and made them on a George Foreman grill, so that it would be the best reenactment of a fried peanut butter and sandwich possible in an office environment. 

They played Elvis music while we ate our sandwiches.  I tuned the Elvis music out.  It still makes me sad...  Elvis will always remind us of our Aunt Judy and it can be hard to listen to most of the time.

However, in honor of Elvis and Aunt Judy, I did try the sandwich.  I am a huge proponent of peanut butter and banana sandwiches.  I can eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I can eat them when there isn't anything else to eat in the house.  They are a favorite of mine.  I have never had one warmed up and I certainly don't know what Elvis was thinking having them fried.  I must say that they were very good warmed up.  The banana and peanut butter was super good warmed up.  Mark it down someone!  I tried a new food (sort of).

Aunt Judy and Elvis, you are missed!

Flashback Friday: Aunt Judy and 'Elvis'

In honor of Elvis week, I thought we would celebrate Flashback Friday with Aunt Judy's Elvis Birthday.  Who could forget her very special birthday party?  She had the time of her life.  And, the rest of us had the time of our lives just watching her.  It was one of those days that you never forget.

In Honor Of The King

Today marks the 35th anniversary of Elvis Presley's death.  There were two things that my Aunt Judy loved -- her family and Elvis.  So, on this day, I am remembering Elvis and Judy.  They are both missed deeply.

Count Your Blessings

Grandma, Jonathan, Mom, Jessica and Lainey
(my brother's little girl)

Some of you might know that we have had a very trying year.  We don't expect our trials to end anytime soon, but that is okay.  There is a reason that we are being tested, and I know that we will all be stronger for having gone through this season in time.  I know that Heavenly Father loves our family, and hasn't forgotten us.  We tried very hard this Thanksgiving to "count our blessings and name them one by one."

Jeff is having to do some training for the Army in Virginia for 2 months, so Mom and Dad offered Aunt Emma a little "parenting reprieve" over Thanksgiving.  Lainey was so much fun, and the kids had  a blast with her.  We left Dad and Fred watching the Cowboy game, and visited with Grandma for a little bit.  She is so sweet, and so much fun.  I hope that I am JUST like her when I am 91 years old.  I will be keeping everyone on their toes.

We had so much fun at Thanksgiving, and everything that mom cooked was delicious!  We are so fortunate to have family close by, and thankful that they are so welcoming.

We ended the afternoon, by stopping by the cemetery to visit our sweet Aunt Judy's grave site.  Oh, how we miss her!

I Love My Family

Saturday was a day spent celebrating with family.  I love my family so much, and I am thankful for their influence in my life.  I took some special pictures, and wanted to share them here. 

Grandma - getting her to pose for a picture is like pulling teeth!

Uncle Joe and Dad - I love this picture!  Side by side taking pictures of the pinata fun.

Sweet little Cheyanne

Don't you just love little girls?  Mismatched flip flops and dirty feet!

Jonathan brought this butterfly net as one of the prizes.  He ended up picking his own prize.  Funny how that works.  I didn't quite expect him to put it on his head though.

Sitting on the tractor.  Jonathan was so intrigued with Randy's tractor.

The highlight of Jonathan's day came when Randy let him drive his tractor, and then later he got to drive it again with Grady.  Jonathan is already making plans to go visit Mamaw and Grady, so that he can drive Grady's tractor.

Uncle Joe has an armful of dogs.  We brought Mollie, because we thought she might have fun Auntie Jan and Uncle Joe's dog, Josie.

It is so embarassing when Mommy has to trim your ears.  Mollie has a double ear infection. She scratched her right ear until she had all of the hair matted.  I ended up having to cut both ears super short to match.  Cut is too nice of a word.  I whacked at the hair on Mollie's ears.  The groomer is going to be so mad at me!

Tired kiddos!

While we were missing our sweet Aunt Judy this weekend, I'm sure that she was watching us from Heaven.  I think I might have heard her laughing during the confetti egg fight!  Cheyanne inherited her Grandma Judy's luck, because she won $10 in the Easter egg hunt.  Judy was always our big winner, so it is only fitting that she passed her luck down to her granddaughter. 

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family!

Why?

On Monday morning, Heavenly Father decided that it was time for my Aunt Judy to go back to her Heavenly home.

Why would He choose her? That one is easy. She was the most Christ-like person that I’ve ever met in my life. I don’t mean that she was always quoting scriptures or talking about Jesus. I mean that she was good and virtuous, and lived in a manner that was pleasing to Him. So, of course, Heavenly Father would choose her.

Why did He make her suffer? That is the harder question. I have given this one quite a bit of thought. When I see Him, I’ll probably ask Him about it. Until then, I can only guess. Judy had already lived a courageous life. I was learning lessons from her long before she ever got sick. I don’t think that she had a whole lot to learn from her cancer. I can only guess that the lessons were ours to learn. I think we all took away different lessons based on our experiences. For me, I have a deeper understanding of love, serving others, gratitude, spirituality, bravery, and humor in the face of adversity. This experience has made feel closer to my Mom, Auntie Jan and cousin Tammy. How can something like this not bring you closer?

Judy had a beautiful spirit and blessed the lives of all that knew her. She will be missed.

In Loving Memory

Julia Ann Bond’s courageous battle with cancer ended on November 22, 2010 in Greenville, Texas. Judy, as she was known to her loved ones, was born on July 21, 1943 in Bonham to H.E. (Jack) Bond and Christine Taylor Swanson.

Judy is preceded in death by her father, Jack Bond and her baby brother, Bobby Jack Bond. She is survived by her mother Christine Swanson, son Harold Self, daughter Tammy Prince and son-in-law Randy Prince. She also leaves behind her beloved grandchildren Christopher Self and Cheyanne Prince. She is also survived by her sisters Regina Bond Forthman and Janet Bond Kast along with her brother Jackie Bond. Judy also leaves behind her sister-in-law Sue Bond and two brothers-in-law, Don Forthman and Joseph Kast, both of whom she loved like brothers. In addition, she leaves her nieces and nephews along with her friends and neighbors at The Villas Apartments.

Judy truly loved life, and could give us all lessons on how to enjoy each moment. She adored her family, and especially enjoyed spending time spoiling her two grandchildren. One of her favorite pastimes was collecting Elvis memorabilia, and listening to her Elvis CDs. She liked participating in all of the activities with her neighbors at The Villas. Judy was a friend to all, and eager to lend a helping hand.

We would like to thank Judy’s VistaCare Hospice Team, and Dr. Stringer and his staff for the excellent care provided during her illness. Thanks also to those that offered their constant support in her last days. Judy left this earthly world knowing that she was loved.

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I have so much that I want to write.  For now, I am just posting her obituary.  I wrote this piece for the printed program at the funeral.  I am not a writer by trade, and I really struggled with wanting it to be perfect. 

Life Lessons

We learned last Friday that my Aunt Judy's earthly trials are nearing their end.  We were initially told that it would be about a week.  My family is very close (especially the women), so for my kids it will be more than losing a Great-Aunt. 

I called Miss Jessica out to the living room first.  She didn't take the news very well at all.  There have been lots of tears.  Lots of sadness.  We've enlisted some professional help, and I think (or at least hope) that we are fortified enough to weather the storm when it hits.  It is going to be very hard.  Jessica has a very big heart, and she certainly loves all of her aunts very much. 

Jonathan, on the other hand, was frustrated and put out that I had inconvenienced him.  He wanted to know why I had interrupted his game.   I thought that was an odd response (to say the very least).  The next day, I went shopping and bought him some new clothes for the funeral.  I mentioned to him that he would need to make sure that his shirt was tucked in at the funeral (he often lets his shirt go untucked at church).  He asked my why I kept saying that she was going to die, when she might not really die.  I explained that her body was shutting down.  He just couldn't accept that as an answer.  He reasoned that there could be a miracle, or that she could get well, or that they could find the cure in the next day or so.  The subject really frustrated him.  I tried bringing it up the next day, but he cut me off immediately letting me know that we were not going to talk about the subject unless I could be positive. 

This is the part of life that you wish you could shield your kids from.  There is no easy way for them to learn the lesson of dying.  They both know that she will be going to a better place, but it doesn't ease the pain of losing someone. 

I am going to miss her sweet nature and beautiful spirit.  I'm going to miss her voice.  I hope I can always remember her cute little voice.  The way she said  "Thank Yee" or how she used to pronounce Jessie's name Jesk-ik-a.  I want to remember how I would visit Grandma, and she would grab my arm and we would walk next door to her apartment.  There was always something there she wanted to show me.  I love that I can go into her apartment and it looks like she has four grandkids instead of two.  She has pictures of my children all over her apartment. 

If we could all strive to be a little more like her, the world would be a beautiful place.

How Great Thou Art

I have been blessed to grow up with wonderful female role models. When I was growing up, I always loved family get-togethers at my Grandma’s house. There was always lots of laughter and lots of love. My mom has sisters and I think it must be great to have sisters. Those sisters love me (and my children) unconditionally.

As I have mentioned before, my Aunt Judy’s battle with cancer is coming to a close. I’ve also mentioned her deep love for Elvis. I think you also know that I’m a sensitive soul that is known to cry at a moment’s notice. So, now you have all that you need to follow this little story.

I was with my girlfriends at a crafty-type store, and I wondered into a nice little room. It was filled with stuff that I knew that I would really like. There were plaques with inspirational quotes, angel figurines, and Jim Shore collectibles. My mom collects Jim Shore’s stuff, so I thought I would look for a birthday gift. My little ears quickly tuned into the CD player. Darned if it wasn’t playing Elvis’ rendition of Amazing Grace. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. I moved out of that room as fast as I could.

Seriously? Of all the religious music in the world, why would they play Elvis? I hung out in the next area of the shop until that song was over. I moved back in, so that I could do some shopping. Oh, no. It couldn’t be that easy. The next song on the CD was Elvis’ How Great Thou Art. For real? I got so upset that I knocked over an entire stack of metal crosses. I had to exit the shop, and sit on the porch with my sunglasses on. The moment passed, but I don’t think that I will be listening to How Great Thou Art for a while.

I am so thankful to have grown up with these wonderful influences in my life. Although, it sure does hurt when you know that it is almost time to send one back to Heaven. I hope Elvis is preparing for the eventual arrival of his #1 fan!

The Bucket List Lesson

My aunt loves Elvis.  I mean really loves Elvis.  Last July, we had a big celebration for her birthday.  Mom and Auntie Jan hired an Elvis impersonator to put on a show in the party room at her apartment complex.  It was quite the party.  We were celebrating her valiant fight against cancer.

This July, Mom and Dad took Judy to Graceland for her birthday.   This was a different kind of celebration.  This was more like one last hoorah before the cancer took over.  The trip was planned as soon as they received the news that Judy's time will be cut short.

She had a wonderful trip, and the timing couldn't have been better.  As it turns out, she is already feeling the effects of the ugly disease.  Fred and I talked about the bucket list concept.  I was sad for Judy.  She got to visit Graceland, but I had a theory about this whole bucket list thing.  I told Fred that we should be working on our bucket lists now.  I don't want to wait until someone tells me that I have months instead of years left in this world.

I set about working on my bucket list.  I haven't put together a formal list, but there were a few things that I wanted to start off with.  I wanted an adventurous summer.  So, I went...

Hiking

Horseback Riding

Kayaking

Floating down a river

and, let's not forget that I let PawPaw Larry drag me around behind the boat in Big Bertha

What will I do for Autumn?  I don't know yet, but I'll keep you posted.

I saw Judy on Saturday.  It was my first time to visit with her, since she had really started getting sick.  I sat next to her bed, and held her hand.  She looked at me with sad eyes, and said, "Donna, this ain't me.  This just ain't me."  We talked a little bit about her cancer for a few minutes.  But, I wanted to lighten the mood.  I'm always the one cracking jokes at inappropriate times, because I prefer smiles and laughter in times of adversity. (I am like Clairee in Steel Magnolia where she offers to let M'lynn take a wack at Oiser.)  So, I asked Judy about her Graceland trip.  Boy, oh,  boy!  Her eyes lit up.  She told me all about it.  She pulled herself out of bed, and tracked down every last souvenir (and there were a lot) that she had purchased.  I asked her what her favorite part of the trip was.  Her reply was, "Donna, I just don't know.  I can't say.  It was all great.  I can't pick a favorite." 

At that moment, I learned an important lesson about bucket lists.  I do believe that you should always be working on your bucket list.  However, I think you should save something really big and important until you get that news.  That big important thing might be what gets you through the tough times. I'm grateful to my parents for making such a special trip happen for Judy.