20 Years!

20 Years ago on this day, Fred and I married.  I remember being scared to death to leave my family.  I took the first job offer I received after college, so that Fred and I could get married quickly.  I didn't have a good feeling about that job, but I took I leap of faith.  Turns out that Fred was the perfect choice, but I was right not to have a good feeling about that job.  

I was 22 years old and had just graduated from UNT.  We had the worst paying jobs ever and lived in the worst apartment ever.  My boss yelled at me everyday for things that weren't even my fault.  He just liked to yell.  However, those days were so much fun!  We were young and always had something fun planned for the weekend.

Over the years, life served up varying degrees of fun and hard times.  Life gave us trials that I would have never imagined we would have been given.  Trials that I would have never imagined we could have survived or would have imagined I could later find the blessings in them.

I am so blessed to have a kind and giving husband that genuinely loves everyone.  He is always willing to jump in and help anyone at a moments notice. I always say that Fred will give you the shirt right off his back.  Oftentimes, I can't find something at our house and it is because Fred gave it away!  He is so sweet like that. 

Just a random thought about Fred... one of my favorite things about Fred is his laugh.  He has the best laugh. I wish that I could download it on my iTunes and listen to it during the day if I am down or sad.  There is nothing that will put me in a good mood like listening to Fred's belly laugh.  

Happy Anniversary, Fred!  It has been a great 20 years!  I can't wait to see what the next 20 years bring.

Testimony

One of our girls from church is working on a project for Personal Progress.  She is compiling "testimonies" and asked the leaders and youth to send her our testimonies.  I wasn't sure if I was going to post mine, but since this is my online journal, here it is:

I am thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ and for His Atoning sacrifice.  I am so thankful that he atoned for my sins. He took upon himself the pains and sicknesses of His people.  Every pain and sadness that I have felt, He felt it before me.  That brings such comfort to me.

I know that I am a daughter of God and that He placed me with a loving family.  And, the sweet children that I have are sons and daughters of God.  They have been entrusted to my husband and me for a short time.  They are His children that we have stewardship over to love, teach, lead and raise in the gospel.

I have a testimony of the Holy Ghost.  He leads me and guides me and brings peace to my life.  I know that if I listen to that still small voice it will bring me comfort.

I believe that we are given trials to test us and strengthen us so that we can progress through this life.  I am so thankful for the trials that I have been given.  They have made me a stronger and better person.  They have increased my faith and taught me that prayer works.  They’ve taught me that my Heavenly Father loves me and listens to me.  He answers my prayers – not necessarily in the way that I expect or when I want Him to.

I believe that faith can move mountains.  Just a couple of years ago, having faith brought my husband back to church.  Now, he holds Melchizedek Priesthood and we have been sealed in the temple.  I know that families can be together forever.  It is my hope that my entire family can be together forever.  I have such a testimony of the temple and the sacred ordinances that take place there.  It is a beautiful and sacred place where the spirit may be felt.

I have testimony of the Book of Mormon.  I know that it is another witness of Jesus Christ.  It is the keystone of our religion and the most correct book on earth.  I am thankful for the lessons contained in The Book of Mormon.

I am thankful for the missionaries.  Without the missionaries, I wouldn’t have been baptized.  They leave their homes at such a tender young age and they spread the gospel.  How blessed we are that they make this righteous choice.  I am thankful for the missionaries that serve in our ward and for the missionaries from our ward that are out in the field serving.

I am thankful for the Young Women’s program and for the callings that I have had in Young Women’s.  It is truly an inspired program.  The Youth in our church are wonderful examples to those around them and it is because of what they have been taught at home and in the Young Men’s and Young Women’s programs.  I have a testimony that Scouting and Personal Progress programs teach them and strengthen them and help them to become exemplary Young Men and Young Women.

I am thankful for my sweet family.  They strengthen me and teach me so much about love.  They make me want to be a better person, so that I can make sure that I spend eternity with them.  I am thankful for righteous friends that are a good example to me.

I am thankful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!

-Donna Fortenberry, 2/24/14 

Extra Dose of Confusion & Crazy

I found this post in my drafts.  I wrote it exactly 1 year ago and decided not post it, because I sounded like such a complainer.  I have to laugh, because not much has changed in a year!

Confusion at the Fortenberry's

Are we still celebrating Christmas or did we start celebrating Valentines Day?

There is crazy at our house!  It has seeped into every crevice of our house.  Now, I have turned into one big whiny baby.

We had sickness for a week.

Our dryer broke last week.  I was so thankful Fred was able to fix it.

The refrigerator started limping and we had to buy a new one.  Our budget for this unplanned item was slim.  We pretty much bought the same refrigerator that we already had.  While looking at the lovely models with french doors and the freezer on bottom, I fell in love.  But, alas, it was not meant to be.  We decided to stick firm to our budget.  Then, Lowes gave us a credit card with a huge credit limit and 6 months no interest.  Glad we didn't know that before the purchase, because we might have entertained the idea of going fancier.

It is time to start making decisions about Jess' senior year.  Not sure how we will keep her at St. Anthony's, but we will try very hard to find a way.

I got a speeding ticket on the way to work a couple of weeks ago.

I have a new calling.  I love it, but some days I think it is going to eat my lunch.

Gracie is getting old and I spend tons of time cleaning up after her.

These are all such little things.  I have had far bigger problems.  Seriously, I have, but it just seems like a new problem is waiting for me every time I turn around.

I just have to remember that these are all solvable problems.  I have a beautiful family and a Heavenly Father that loves me.

Week of Education

We have spent our week on the run, which is not unusual.  It seems like it has been a week of education.  Jess and I workout together and we received a little bit of additional education in class on Monday.  Tuesday was a Relief Society activity at church where we learned about The 5 Love Languages.  Wednesday brought Living Better, Eating Better education at work.  Then on Thursday, Jonathan and I received some education.  Jonathan went to a “Teen Talk” social skills group for kids on the Autism spectrum and I went to a parent education class.  I think Jonathan enjoyed his group quite a bit. 

The parent education class that I went to was on Behavior Management – I don’t remember what they specifically called it and the speakers were the ladies that train teachers and behavior specialists in the school district.  There were some portions of the seminar that were excellent.  There was a portion of the seminar that was missing.  It was so blatantly missing that this girl that doesn’t like to speak in front of strangers had to raise her hand and ask the question!  They had completely left out coping skills.  If we aren’t teaching our children/students to use coping skills to learn how to manage their stress then of course teachers and parents have to step in!  Just listening to this training, it made me so thankful that Jess is in a therapeutic school where I know all of the administrators and teachers are so wonderfully trained.  Not only do they remind her to use her coping skills daily, but they know which ones work best for her.  They have a working knowledge meds and treatment plans.  They completely understand her and how she works.  (And, that is the end of my soap box.)

We have a busy Friday night with lots of places to be and then we are hoping for a quiet weekend!

I’m not sure what it says about me that I was given so many learning opportunities this week. I’m sure they were all necessary for my continued growth!

“Education is not a posture, stance, or recognition.  It is, in fact, a continuing process.  When learning is applied properly, it can become power.  Wisdom and integrity must become an integral part of truly educated person.  Education is not an arrival achievement.  It is a journey.”  -Marvin J. Ashton

Times Of Faith And Perseverance

I have been quiet this week.  A sad, uncooperative computer and writer's block.  I think one is fueling the other.  Fred's computer is nice and all, but he is always using it and it doesn't have all my pictures on it.  I don't want to download any on his, so I just keep using Instagram pictures, because they are easy to get to.  It is so boring... I know!  I just keep telling Fred that we need Geek Squad!

This week has been almost surreal.  There have been a couple of things that look like they are going to come together for our family that we've been waiting on for a long time.  I have been so relieved and happy.  On the other hand, our country (and our sweet state) have taken a huge hit this week with the Boston Marathon bombing and the explosion in West, Texas.  It is as all so hard to wrap your head around.

I saw a quote on Monday by Jeffrey R. Holland.  "These are the times of faith; these are the times of perseverance."

I love Elder Holland.  He is exactly right. These events don't make sense, but you have to have faith and keep going.  And, that is the way it is with all things. 

Enjoy your families and your weekend.  And, don't forget Earth Day on Monday!

Beautiful Heartbreak

My friend, Ruth, turned me on to the Hilary Weeks CD, Every Step.  All of the songs are absolutely beautiful, but there is one song that particularly speaks to what our family has been through over the last 2 1/2 years. A couple of days ago, I stumbled on the video which is absolutely phenomenal.  This song means so much to me and reminds me of how far we have come and how much we've grown over the last couple of years.

Beautiful Heartbreak

by

Hilary Weeks

I had it all mapped out in front of me,
Knew just where I wanted to go;
But life decided to change my plans,
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road.

I knew there was no way over it,
So I searched for a way around;
Brokenhearted I started climbin',
And at the top I found...

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights;

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I never dreamed my heart would make it,
I thought about turning around;
But heaven has shown me miracles,
I never would have seen from the ground.

Now I take the rain with the sunshine,
Cause there's one thing that I know;
He picks up the pieces,
Along each broken road.

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

Season of Joy: Day 20

Ugly Sweater Contest

I am a day late and a dollar short on Day 20.  It has been quite the week trying to get caught up at work and home.  My house needs cleaning, I haven't finished my Christmas shopping and I have overextend myself with commitments.  But, through all the stress, I remember one thing.  I am so very blessed this season.  Last Christmas I felt very blessed, too. However, it was a different kind of blessed.  I was finding blessings in the fact that Jess was finally getting the help that she needed and deserved.  However, I was so very sad that we couldn't spend Christmas with her and that she was going to be away from us for a time.  The other concern that we had was that we didn't understand how long insurance was going to let her receive treatment.  It was a huge concern.  This Christmas, I feel blessed and thankful for the kind of stress that I am feeling.  I will take this kind of stress any day!

I am also feeling a little sad... I didn't win the ugly sweater contest at work.  Although, I feel like I was a strong contender.  Lots of people came up and told me how awesome my entry was and that they voted for me.  So, either I was a strong 4th place (there were 3 winners) or I need to demand a recount.  I would like to thank my mom for loaning me her awesome shirt.  After I offended her by asking to borrow an ugly sweater, she came through with flying colors!  Thanks, Mom!  I knew I could count on you.

Season of Joy: Day 16

Jessica's Ornament

 

Last year, I didn't have very much Christmas spirit, but I managed to get my Christmas tree up just a couple of days before Jess left for residential care.  I had taken the kids shopping to pick out special ornaments for our tree that year.  I thought that might help us regain some of our lacking spirit.  We found this very special ornament for Jess.  A heart with the word 'Faith.'  It reminded us all to have faith that life would get better.

 

What a beautiful surprise when I pulled this ornament out of the box this year.  Such a beautiful reminder of how far we can come when we have faith.  While the ornament doesn't mean much to Jess, because she has been struggling with her testimony this past year, it means the world to me.  It is a beautiful reminder that we can get through trials and tribulations.  It isn't easy and doesn't happen overnight.  However, if we have faith, we can come through stronger and better people.

 

Season of Joy: Day 14

The Christmas Story

 

This morning, we learned of the heartbreaking events in Newtown, Connecticut.  We learned about innocent children, a teacher/mother and adults in an elementary school that were killed.  We were left in tears and not sure how something like this could happen.

 

Tonight seemed like the perfect night to read about the true Christmas story in Luke.  On a day when it is hard to have hope, reading about the birth of our Savior can restore hope.

Gratitude: Day 29

I am grateful for the treatment that my daughter was able to receive last winter.  It was hard to have her away from us for 2 1/2 months, but it was so worth it.  She is doing so much better.  I love to see her smile, laugh and have fun.

Gratitude: Day 28

I am grateful for the scriptures.  I love that we can find the answers that we seek in the scriptures.  My personal favorite scripture is Alma 7:11.

And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

This scripture speaks to my heart.  I know that my Savior has felt every pain and every affliction that I have felt.  It gives me comfort when times are hard.  I wouldn't know this if it weren't for the scriptures.

Gratitude: Day 11

I am thankful for my Auntie Jan and Uncle Joe.  December through February was hard for our family and took us to the Austin area every other weekend.  Auntie Jan and Uncle Joe opened up their home to us.  It was a hard time, but it was also a growing, learning and uplifting time.  Even though life was hard for us, we had so much fun during those visits.  We played games, ate good food and enjoyed some very enlightening talks.

 

Thank you, Auntie Jan and Uncle Joe.  We love you so much and always have tons of fun each time we come to visit you.

Obstacles

"No obstacles are insurmountable when God commands and we obey."

-Wilford Woodruff

Pushing My Wagon

“When our wagon gets stuck in the mud, God is much more likely to assist the man who gets out to push than the man who merely raises his voice in prayer—no matter how eloquent the oration.” ― Dieter F. Uchtdorf (http://www.lds.org/ensign/2009/11/two-principles-for-any-economy)

It seems like my wagon has been stuck in the mud quite a bit.  I hope God thinks I am sufficiently trying to push my wagon out of the mud!  I am thankful for the trials we've been through and especially thankful for the help that we've had getting our wagon out of the mud. We are blessed (even if it does seem like we are cursed sometimes).
-Donna

Never Surrender

(Jessica and her sweet friend, Sydney)

And to all who suffer—to all who feel discouraged, worried, or lonely—I say with love and deep concern for you, never give in. Never surrender.  Never allow despair to overcome your spirit.  Embrace and rely upon the Hope of Israel, for the love of the Son of God pierces all darkness, softens all sorrow, and gladdens every heart.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, The Infinite Power of Hope, Nov. 2008

Oh The Gall

Thursday (July 5), Fred (who has two speeds: go,go,go and nappy, nappy) wasn't feeling well.  After a trip to our local PrimaCare, he still wasn't feeling well and we didn't really have a satisfactory diagnosis.  We only knew that we should go to the emergency room if he got worse.  Fred assured me that he wasn't feeling worse, but I had that feeling that we should go anyway.  So, Saturday morning, we headed out for what we thought would be a quick trip to the ER for some quick relief.

They quickly decided that he needed an ultrasound, so that he could look at his gallbladder.  Not sure why PrimaCare hadn't thought of this.   It wasn't long before they came back to let us know that the surgeon on call had been notified that Fred's gallbladder needed to be removed.  He was admitted to the hospital and away we went.  On one hand, it seemed like it all happened so fast.  But, then on the other, it seemed like each step took forever.

We were told that Fred had probably been in pain for years and just chalked it up to something he ate or maybe he thought he pulled a muscle.  He went in on Saturday (July 7) and was released around 6:45 p.m. on Monday (July 9).  I won't bore you with the story that kept him there so long.

The good news is that he is on the mend.  He stayed home all last week and went back to work today.  He is tired, but made it the entire day.

 Fred and I were supposed to give talks at church on that Sunday. Fred had the 'gall' to weasel out of his talk! I still had to give mine! I have to say that was super stressful to give a talk while your husband is in the hospital.  When it was over, I was relieved and glad that I gave it, though. My talk is over, but Fred will have to give one in the next couple of weeks.  Hmmm... we'll see if he comes up with some other crazy illness!

We are so thankful to those wonderful people that offered help and who sent their prayers and well wishes.  We are so very blessed.

Flashback Friday: The Inner Space Cavern

Back on February 24th, we knew that Jessica would be released within the next few days.  Her therapist thought she should get used to hanging out in the 'real world' again, so she was granted a pass for that Friday and Saturday. We decided to tour the Inner Space Cavern in Georgetown .  It was my idea and everyone else thought it was silly.  However, the staff convinced Jess that my idea was a good one, so off we went!  We had such a fun time and enjoyed each other's company

Lucky, Lucky Me

I will tell you straight up... I have a very special Grandma.  I sent her a Mother's Day card in the mail and put a little cash in it. It isn't so good for us to get her big gifts, because she doesn't have very much room.  She lives in a little one bedroom assisted living apartment (it isn't much bigger than my college dorm room was).  Besides, if we give her big gifts, I think it makes my mom cranky.  She is the one that has to help her find a place to store or display the gifts.  Anyway, once Grandma hit her '90s she almost seems like a teenager in a lot of ways.  One of them being, she really likes it when you give her cash.  It isn't as special as heartfelt gift.  But, like a teenager, it sure makes her smile!

Just a couple of days after she received her little Mother's Day gift, I received a card in the mail.  It was a "hope you are feeling better card."  She had addressed it herself in her shaky handwriting.  Even putting Frisco TX 75035 on there twice for good measure.  On the inside, was a beautiful note about how she hoped that Jessie and I were both feeling better and doing ok.  She hoped Jessie was doing well and school and how much she loved us.  And, she thanked me for her gift and told me it was the perfect color!

I  have the most special Grandma in the world (I'm sorry if you thought it was yours).  Many people have commented on my strength lately.  If I am strong, I think that it is inherited from her.  She is the strongest woman that I know.  Always a trailblazer, setting out to do her own thing without worrying what others think.  She worked during a time when many women didn't work, and divorced when it wasn't something that was done at the blink of an eye.  She raised kids without a husband when it was much harder to do so, and society probably wasn't as accepting.  She worked hard throughout her entire life.  I am honored to call her Grandma.

I love you Grandma. You are the best.

The Choice To Be Grateful

written by: Henry B. Eyring

Our Father in Heaven commands us to be thankful in all things (see 1 Thessalonians 5:18), and He requires that we give thanks for the blessings we receive (see D&C 46:32). We know that all of His commandments are intended to make us happy, and we also know that to break commandments leads to misery.

So to be happy and to avoid misery, we must have a grateful heart. We have seen in our lives the connection between gratitude and happiness. All of us would like to feel gratitude, yet it is not easy to be consistently grateful in all things in the trials of life. Sickness, disappointment, and the loss of people we love come at times in our lives. Our sorrows can make it hard to see our blessings and to appreciate the blessings God has in store for us in the future.

It is a challenge to count our blessings because we have a tendency to take good things for granted. When we lose a roof over our heads, food to eat, or the warmth of friends and family, we realize how grateful we should have been when we had them.

Most of all, sometimes it is hard for us to be sufficiently grateful for the greatest gifts we receive: the birth of Jesus Christ, His Atonement, the promise of resurrection, the opportunity to enjoy eternal life with our families, the Restoration of the gospel with the priesthood and its keys. Only with the help of the Holy Ghost can we begin to feel what those blessings mean for us and for those we love. And only then can we hope to be thankful in all things and avoid the offense to God of ingratitude.

We must ask in prayer that God, by the power of the Holy Ghost, will help us see our blessings clearly even in the midst of our trials. He can help us by the power of the Spirit to recognize and be grateful for blessings we take for granted. What has helped me the most is to ask God in prayer, “Wouldst Thou please direct me to someone I can help for Thee?” It is in helping God bless others that I have seen my own blessings more closely.

To read the rest of this article go to:

http://www.lds.org/liahona/2011/12/the-choice-to-be-grateful?lang=eng

We Are Family

We recently found ourselves in a very stressful place.  We were blessed to have so many of our sweet family and friends that pitched in and offered support.  It was very humbling to say the least. 

My dad went with me to Austin while I took care of some difficult business.  It was very comforting to have him with me.  I could have taken care of it by myself, but it was so much easier to have my dad with me.

We also found ourselves needing to spend a lot of time in the Austin area.  For about 2 1/2 months, we spent every other weekend in Austin.  My Auntie Jan and Uncle Joe live in Austin and opened their home up to us.  It was such a hard time, but we also had some really great times.  Our sweet little family of four had some wonderful family moments, and we had some really great times with my Auntie Jan and Uncle Joe.  I think that Auntie Jan and I are closer for having had that experience.  We had lots of talks and "bonding" time when we come in to town on those Friday nights. 

 My brother was so sweet to give us gas cards and restaurant gift cards for Christmas to help out with the travel.  It was a huge lifesaver.

My mom and mother-in-law gave so much moral support.  Cards, letter and phone calls. The cards and letters are all saved and tucked away.  Anything we needed, my mom sent our way.  

Our friends sent their love, support, cards and packages. The Young Women at church were so sweet and wonderful. So much love was offered that it was unbelievable. 

It was hard to accept help.  In some cases, I think that I might have accepted help kicking and screaming.  This experience, while difficult, brought so many blessings into our lives.  I hope that I sufficiently thanked everyone, and showed my love for them. 
I don't know how I will ever repay them for their love, support and kindness.