Sunday, August 10, 2014

Saying Goodbye to Grandma


My Grandma lived a great life!  She lived until she was 93. She died peacefully on August 6th with her daughters by her side.  On August 9th, we said goodbye to her with a very sweet funeral.

I spoke at a memorial service in her honor at the Villa Asuncion in Princeton, where she lived.  I also spoke at her funeral.  These were pretty much the words I said in her honor.

Good afternoon, my name is Donna Fortenberry.  I have the distinct honor and pleasure of being Christine Taylor Swanson’s granddaughter.  I was so proud of that title that I named my first born Jessica Taylor after her great-grandmother.  I find that both of these ladies are a great combination of sweet and sassy – with an extra dose of sassy.  And, who doesn’t like a little bit of sassy, right?

I am so thankful that families are a part of Heavenly Father’s plan for us.  I am especially grateful that he included grandmothers in that plan.  My grandma was perfectly perfect for me.  I couldn’t have asked for a better grandma.  She was just the one that I needed. 

My mom is a wonderful grandmother.  She makes her home very inviting for her grandkids providing them with special toys, activities and books.  Her entire house has been transformed just for them.  I hope that someday I can do the same for my grandkids.  However, Grandma didn’t really transform her house for us.  When we came to visit, our Grandma WAS the party.  I loved spending the night with my Grandma, especially when I was about 14.  We would take her dog and go to TCBY and get some frozen yogurt and then come back and watch Dallas and Falcon Crest.  We’d eat our yogurt and talk about Sue Ellen and J.R.   Often times, on Saturday afternoon she would drop us off at the mall or let us walk to the mall, which was a huge treat.  Mom would never have let us walk to the mall.   Which, by the way, we all kept a secret until a couple of years ago. 

Grandma and I got along famously even though we were very different.  I am a rule follower.  I play it safe and cautious.  If I can’t figure something out, I tend to wait, so that I don’t make a mistake.  Grandma was an improviser.  She used the tools she had at hand, and moved forward no matter what.  When I was a teenager, I received a brand new pretty pink camera for Christmas.  She asked to borrow it.  She couldn’t figure out how to get the film out, so she used a screwdriver and pried the back of my camera open to free the used film.  After that, my camera always had to have a strip of tape on the back.  If it were me, I would have thought to myself, “I don’t know what to do here, I better wait and find someone to help me.”  Not Grandma.  She just thought to herself, “It won’t open.  What can I find to MAKE it open!”   Which is one of the things that I loved most about her.

Around that same time, Grandma decided she wanted to teach me to cook… from a recipe!  She knew I was taking Home Economics and wanted to do her part to further my education.  We prepared everything we needed to bake a cobbler.  This will be the best cobbler you’ve ever tasted, she told me.  I remember being skeptical, because Grandma wasn’t a bad cook, but she wasn’t my most favorite cook.  As we started getting ready to bake I would ask her questions like, “Grandma, where are your measuring cups.”  It quickly became apparent that my improviser Grandma improvised in the kitchen, as well.  She didn’t own a single measuring cup or measuring spoon.  The rule follower in me almost died and was hoping that my Home Economics teacher, Miss Kerby, never got wind of this cooking demonstration that was taking place. Grandma told me just to grab a glass from the cupboard.  Which one, I would ask her.  It doesn’t matter would be her reply.   Who knows if we were even close in our measurements that day.  However, we had a lot of fun enjoying one another. 

In life, I’ve learned that I like to surround myself with people like my grandma.  People that know how to improvise a little bit, if needed.  They help balance me out and make life more fun.  And, that is what Grandma did for me.  She made life more fun.  She taught me that our time on this earth is short.  We need to relax, enjoy it and sometimes improvise a little.

I have a blog that I try to keep up-to-date with family stories and my thoughts on life.  On January 21, 2009 I posted a poem for Grandma.  The author is unknown.  This poem describes how I feel about my Grandma. 


A grandma is a remarkable woman.
She's a wonderful combination of
warmth and kindness, laughter and love.
She overlooks our faults, encourages our dreams,
and praises our every success.

A grandma has the wisdom of a teacher,
the sincerity of a true friend,
and the tenderness of a mother.
She's someone we admire, respect and
love very much.

A grandma will always have a cherished
place in our memories and in our hearts.
She's someone for whom we want every happiness
in return for the joy she always brings.

A grandma is all the dear and precious
things in life...
When she's a grandma like you.

-author unknown-


My grandma is definitely all those things and more!  I am thankful for the joy that she has brought to my life and to the lives of my children.  I am thankful that my kids had the opportunity know her and love her as much as I did.


 The day of the funeral, I added a section.  It was unscripted, but it went something like this.

My Auntie Jan and I were talking and decided to give everyone a note card at dinner last night and have them write one word that described Grandma.  This sounded like a great idea until I started reading all the cards.  I thought to myself 'what have we done?'  But, then I decided that Grandma would have proudly owned every single one of these words.  (At this point, I could see Auntie Jan laughing and clapping out of the corner of my eye.)

I am going to read these words to you today:
  • Mischievous
  • Strong-willed
  • Tenacious
  • Sassy
  • Chocoholic
  • Proud
  • Cheater (with White Elephant gifts at Christmas)
  • Stealer (I am assuming this one also applies to White Elephant gifts, as well)
  • ornery
  • Sneaky
  • Fun
  • Caring
And, my word is Elite.  As in the choicest part or best in class.  Both of those definitions fit my Grandma.  She will always be best in class to me and she is by far the choicest part of our family.

No comments: