He Keeps Me On My Toes

I love this kid!  He knows how to make me feel really good about myself. 

Not too long ago, I bought a pair of men's basketball shorts to workout in (and be lazy in).  Much to my surprise, I discovered that Jonathan and I wear the same size.  Jonathan's stomach is thicker than mine, but as you might have guessed, I have the thicker caboose.  Jonathan has one pair of shorts that he hates.   They are Nike basketball shorts, so I'm not sure why they don't fit right.  He complains each time  he wears them.  I told him to bring me his shorts and I would donate them.  Jonathan replied, "Yeah, these really pinch my stomach."  He brought them to me and I was inspecting them.  I mentioned that we wear the same size and I might try them on.  Jonathan chuckled, rolled his eyes and sarcastically said, "Go ahead and try them if you want, but I don't think they'll work."  Good grief!  Way to make me feel good about me myself.

Turns out, I got him back just a few short days later.  My little Asperger boy that I worry will never marry... will probably never marry, now.  I was in my bathroom taking  shower.  I hear muffled words.  I can tell someone is talking to me, but I can't hear them.  I really don't understand why I still can't take a shower.  I open the shower door, and call out for the person to repeat their question to me.  Turns out it was Jonathan addressing me and he was in my bedroom looking into my bathroom.  When I opened the shower door, he received a full frontal view of his mother.  He covered his eyes, crumpled to the floor and exclaimed, "Ohhh, Ohhh!"  He decided that his question wasn't that important after all and I haven't had visitors during my shower since.  And, that my friends, is how I scarred my son for life and why I might never have daughter-in-law or little Fortenberry grandchildren.

Everyone needs a kid like Jonathan.  He keeps you on your toes.