I Used to be an Eagle

I posted the cute story about Sophie Hudson being overdressed for her son's Family Night at Scout Camp earlier this week.  You can go here to read it. Since we are a family that is so heavily involved in Scouts, I could totally relate to her story.  For some reason it reminded me of getting conned into a BBQ dinner with my husband and the Moffitts.

As I've posted before, Fred and Rod participated in Wood Badge which is a very big deal.  There was a dinner for the participants.  I feel pretty sure that our husbands set us up.  Now, I love Ruth and Rod, so I don't hold any grudges, but I think it was very tricky.  I'm not exactly sure, but I think Rod told Ruth something like, "Hey, Fred and Donna are going to the BBQ, why don't we go, too?" and Fred told me the same thing and that is how we all four ended up at this BBQ that really should have just been Fred and Rod.  (If that is not the case, then I owe those boys a very big apology!)

Now, in Sophie's story she imagined a picnic with lights strung across like in Parenthood.  Well, I may or may not have imagined a classy little BBQ that was Ewing style-- as in the Ewings from Dallas.  Only, the BBQs on Dallas normally took place outside during warmer temps and this was definitely winter, so I imagined it to be in a heated barn-like structure.  I also imaged it to be decorated super cute with red and white gingham tablecloths.

In Wood Badge, you are divided into patrols and each patrol is assigned a "critter."  Fred was an eagle and Rod was a buffalo.  I know, I didn't even pretend to try to understand.  The dinner was held at a Boy Scout Camp in Dallas.  On the drive, the men were in the front and the women were in the backseat. The men were talking about their "chants."  Fred lets loose with his patrol's chant about eagles.  Then, Rod tells us that he WROTE his patrol's chant.  Impressive, huh?  Well, we then hear his chant that is all about buffaloes.  It was well written, but as you can imagine, anything that has to do with buffaloes is just weird.  At this point, sweet Ruth pipes up from the backseat and says something like, "Gee, honey, that is really great."  The way she said it was heartfelt.  I remember thinking right there at that moment, I need to stick with this woman, because she is an exceptional wife!  I wondered if she might give me wife lessons, because I felt inadequate next to her.

We arrived at our BBQ that was nothing like an event that the Ewings would hold.  The dinner was held in a metal building that might have been heated, but I sure didn't feel the heat.  We sat on cold metal folding chairs.  The building was so cold that I never took my coat off-- the entire night. If there were decorations at all, they certainly paled in comparison to what I had laid out in my head.

I'm sure the speakers were interesting, but Fred is the Scout, so the topics were a little lost on me.  Mostly, Ruth and I talked about how the Scout uniforms should be redesigned.  Khaki is not an attractive color and what is up with those green pants?   It was very reminiscent of Clairee's interview on KPPD in the Devil's locker room.  (In case you don't know, that is a Steel Magnolias reference.)

The best part of the night came at the very end.  They asked the Wood Badge participants to gather in their patrols.  Which means they were grouped by their "critters."  They stood around the room in a circle.  Once they got up, it felt like Ruth and I were the only ones not standing.  We were smack dab in the middle of the room-- looking so out of place.  It was a strange feeling.  I felt like E.T. must have felt like when he was trying to get back to his homeland.

Then, each patrol chanted their chant.  I thought they were done.  But, no!  Then, they sang a song.

I used to be a Beaver, 

And a good old Beaver too. 

but now I've finished beavering,

And I don't know what to do.

I'm growing old and feeble,

And I can Beaver no more.

So I'm going to work my ticket while I can.

Then they repeated it with all the rest of critters:

Bobwhite 

Eagle
Fox
Owl
Bear
Buffalo
Antelope
Crow

At that point, I really felt like E.T. trying to phone home!  When it was over, my sweet friend Ruth (the one that I want to take wife lessons from) looked at her husband and said "I will never go with you to one of these events ever again."  In my head, I was saying, "Yeah, preach it, sister!"  But, I think I really said, "Me, too."  Just so you know, I still want to take wife lessons from her, because I think she is the greatest wife, ever.  No one should have to sit through that.  I want to be supportive, but it is too hard to be supportive when you are freezing.  

P.S.  Some people relate everything in life to Seinfeld or Friends.  I have one friend that can relate anything and everything to Everybody Loves Raymond - yes, that's you, Tanya!  But, as you can tell,  everything circles back around to Steel Magnolias for me!