Why?

On Monday morning, Heavenly Father decided that it was time for my Aunt Judy to go back to her Heavenly home.

Why would He choose her? That one is easy. She was the most Christ-like person that I’ve ever met in my life. I don’t mean that she was always quoting scriptures or talking about Jesus. I mean that she was good and virtuous, and lived in a manner that was pleasing to Him. So, of course, Heavenly Father would choose her.

Why did He make her suffer? That is the harder question. I have given this one quite a bit of thought. When I see Him, I’ll probably ask Him about it. Until then, I can only guess. Judy had already lived a courageous life. I was learning lessons from her long before she ever got sick. I don’t think that she had a whole lot to learn from her cancer. I can only guess that the lessons were ours to learn. I think we all took away different lessons based on our experiences. For me, I have a deeper understanding of love, serving others, gratitude, spirituality, bravery, and humor in the face of adversity. This experience has made feel closer to my Mom, Auntie Jan and cousin Tammy. How can something like this not bring you closer?

Judy had a beautiful spirit and blessed the lives of all that knew her. She will be missed.

Giving Thanks

November, usually a month to focus on gratitude, was filled with heartache.  There were trials that seemed almost too big to overcome, and they seemed to be hitting us from all sides.  While my Aunt Judy's last days were coming to a close, our immediate family was hit with our own trial.   There have been many lessons learned these last two weeks.  I think we are all stronger, wiser and better people for what we've been through.  Judy's funeral was on Wednesday, and I couldn't bring myself to celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday.  Not to mention, I think we were all exhausted. 

We postponed Thanksgiving, and celebrated today.  We had Mom and Dad over for lunch.  Fred cooked most everything, and did a wonderful job.  I find that it is better for me to let him cook.  He spends the entire time critiquing the food.  I would rather him critique his own food.  It hurts my feelings when he critiques my food.  For instance, he asked me to make a mini-Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday.  He spent the entire time complaining about the sweet potatoes.

I am so glad that we celebrated Thanksgiving today.  I am very focused on gratitude today.  If we had done this two days ago, I wouldn't have been quite ready.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving from the Fortenberry's!

In Loving Memory

Julia Ann Bond’s courageous battle with cancer ended on November 22, 2010 in Greenville, Texas. Judy, as she was known to her loved ones, was born on July 21, 1943 in Bonham to H.E. (Jack) Bond and Christine Taylor Swanson.

Judy is preceded in death by her father, Jack Bond and her baby brother, Bobby Jack Bond. She is survived by her mother Christine Swanson, son Harold Self, daughter Tammy Prince and son-in-law Randy Prince. She also leaves behind her beloved grandchildren Christopher Self and Cheyanne Prince. She is also survived by her sisters Regina Bond Forthman and Janet Bond Kast along with her brother Jackie Bond. Judy also leaves behind her sister-in-law Sue Bond and two brothers-in-law, Don Forthman and Joseph Kast, both of whom she loved like brothers. In addition, she leaves her nieces and nephews along with her friends and neighbors at The Villas Apartments.

Judy truly loved life, and could give us all lessons on how to enjoy each moment. She adored her family, and especially enjoyed spending time spoiling her two grandchildren. One of her favorite pastimes was collecting Elvis memorabilia, and listening to her Elvis CDs. She liked participating in all of the activities with her neighbors at The Villas. Judy was a friend to all, and eager to lend a helping hand.

We would like to thank Judy’s VistaCare Hospice Team, and Dr. Stringer and his staff for the excellent care provided during her illness. Thanks also to those that offered their constant support in her last days. Judy left this earthly world knowing that she was loved.

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I have so much that I want to write.  For now, I am just posting her obituary.  I wrote this piece for the printed program at the funeral.  I am not a writer by trade, and I really struggled with wanting it to be perfect. 

Life Lessons

We learned last Friday that my Aunt Judy's earthly trials are nearing their end.  We were initially told that it would be about a week.  My family is very close (especially the women), so for my kids it will be more than losing a Great-Aunt. 

I called Miss Jessica out to the living room first.  She didn't take the news very well at all.  There have been lots of tears.  Lots of sadness.  We've enlisted some professional help, and I think (or at least hope) that we are fortified enough to weather the storm when it hits.  It is going to be very hard.  Jessica has a very big heart, and she certainly loves all of her aunts very much. 

Jonathan, on the other hand, was frustrated and put out that I had inconvenienced him.  He wanted to know why I had interrupted his game.   I thought that was an odd response (to say the very least).  The next day, I went shopping and bought him some new clothes for the funeral.  I mentioned to him that he would need to make sure that his shirt was tucked in at the funeral (he often lets his shirt go untucked at church).  He asked my why I kept saying that she was going to die, when she might not really die.  I explained that her body was shutting down.  He just couldn't accept that as an answer.  He reasoned that there could be a miracle, or that she could get well, or that they could find the cure in the next day or so.  The subject really frustrated him.  I tried bringing it up the next day, but he cut me off immediately letting me know that we were not going to talk about the subject unless I could be positive. 

This is the part of life that you wish you could shield your kids from.  There is no easy way for them to learn the lesson of dying.  They both know that she will be going to a better place, but it doesn't ease the pain of losing someone. 

I am going to miss her sweet nature and beautiful spirit.  I'm going to miss her voice.  I hope I can always remember her cute little voice.  The way she said  "Thank Yee" or how she used to pronounce Jessie's name Jesk-ik-a.  I want to remember how I would visit Grandma, and she would grab my arm and we would walk next door to her apartment.  There was always something there she wanted to show me.  I love that I can go into her apartment and it looks like she has four grandkids instead of two.  She has pictures of my children all over her apartment. 

If we could all strive to be a little more like her, the world would be a beautiful place.

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Jonathan?

Jonathan was reading a book called Hitler Youth for his non-fiction book report last week. His class checked the books out on Monday and the book report was due on Friday. As you can imagine, he had to boogy and get it done. Quite frankly, the deadline was almost unfair. Jonathan had started the book Monday night. On Tuesday evening, I asked Jonathan if his teacher had given him any time to read the book in class. He replied that he had finished reading the entire book in class. He exact words were, “I read the whole book, I just forgot to move the book mark.” Upon examination, I noticed the book mark sat in the exact same location it had been on Monday night. We quizzed Jonathan on the nature of the book, and he could only tell us what happened in the first two chapters. Nice try, Buddy! I’m not sure how he thought he was going to complete his book report with only two chapters under his belt.

After getting to the bottom of the Hitler book, I began going through his notebook. He told me that he did all of his homework. I said, “Really?” His reply was, “Yes. Well, all of it except for my spelling and math.” Basically, he completed a reading passage and that was it. He spun the story, so that it sounded like he was almost done.

So, I finally got through the homework drama, and I opened up Jonathan’s behavior chart. For the first time in several weeks, I notice his chart was signed. Darn! He was on such a roll. What on earth could he have done? In red ink, I read the words, “Reading during math.” I decided that perhaps he really did read some of the Hitler book. So, asked him about it. Nope. He was reading his new Percy Jackson book. This is the second time in a week that one of his teachers has taken the book up from him in class. His punishment? We grounded him from taking the book to school. Have you ever heard of such punishment?

The entire night I found myself humming How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria from the Sound of Music.  The nuns had to send Maria off to the Von Trapp family.  What does that mean for Jonathan?

Remembering To Be Thankful

Yesterday was a long, hard day. Everything seemed like it was more work than it should have been. Last night, I stood in my kitchen having a hard time remembering anything good that had happened. I happened to be staring out into my living room where my meager little fall display caught my gaze. “Give Thanks” rang in my head, and I told myself that I needed to find something right that second to be thankful for.

Try as I might, I couldn’t think of one thing to be thankful for. How horrible is that? I have one million wonderful things in this world to be thankful for, but I couldn’t see past my rotten mood. Even more frustrated, I thought again, “Seriously, find something to be thankful for, right now!” You are totally thinking I’m crazy, aren’t you? Anyway, a little tiny voice in the back of my head came up with this one little solitary thought…

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. – John 3:16

And that, my friends, is what I found to be thankful for on Nov. 9, 2010.

Ranch Life

A couple of weeks ago, our 5th graders went to Sky Ranch for three days.  Initially, there was an over abundance of female volunteers and only 5 male volunteers.  Fred and I were on the fence, and weren't sure if we were going to send Jonathan to Sky Ranch.  We weren't sure if this was a setting that would allow him to be successful.  I took the lack of male volunteers as a sign.  If Fred went as a chaperone, we thought it might be possible for Jonathan to succeed.  Then, came the question of funding.  We ate a lot of mac and cheese, so that we could send them off to camp!  Our budget had already been hit hard with several unexpected expenses, and an extra $300 didn't help!  It was well worth the sacrifice.  Both Fred and Jonathan were blessed by the experience.  Plus, it allowed Jess and I to spend some time together. 

Bus Ride:  Fred said that it was the longest ride ever.  He said that the bus had one speed - SLOW!

It looks like so much fun.  Jonathan and Fred spent a good hour recounting to me everything they learned.

 Jonathan is listening very intently.  He was quite nervous about riding a horse for the first time!

Jonathan riding a horse for the very first time.  Through clinched teeth he said, "Get me off of here, now!"  Once he got over his initial fear, he was okay.  He reported that his horse must have been new, because he didn't know what to do.

Jonathan enjoys archery.  We've done archery at Twilight Camp with the Cub Scouts.

Zip lining was Jonathan's favorite activity.  He had a blast on the zip line

I am so thankful that we changed our mind and sent Jonathan to camp.  Fred and Jonathan had the opportunity to make memories that they will carry with them forever.

Flight of the Bumble Bee

As I mentioned before, Jessica didn't spend Halloween with us.  In fact, we later learned that she didn't even change into her costume!  Friday was costume day at school, so she did wear it then.  Of course, I was running out the door in a hurry, and didn't take any pictures.  I thought there would be plenty of time on Sunday.  I'm learning that teenagers are very UNPREDICTABLE!  I did manage to obtain this blurry self-portrait that she took in the school bathroom.  I am the mom that used to stand in line at The Picture People for three hours to get my kids' pictures taken in their Halloween costumes.  You can't imagine how disappointed I am!

Excuse Me, But Halloween Just Threw Up in Your Yard

This post is for Fred.  These are pictures of his favorite Halloween house. Every year, the girls take the kids out to trick or treat, while the guys hand out candy.  When we get back from our excursion, the guys head out and visit this house.  The man that lives here takes Halloween very seriously.  Fred, Dave and Abie got the 411 on how it all happens.  I guess the guys met his parents last year, and asked a lot of questions. A week before Halloween, he takes everything down from the attic and starts testing it.  His parents said that they come in a couple of days beforehand, and they work together for an entire day or so getting his yard decorated.  So, here is the end result.  It is quite impressive!

 Okay, so this part looks a little bit like Halloween threw up in their yard!

 I like Justin Pieces.

Doesn't everyone need a pumpkin head hanging from their tree?

Oh, and don't forget the freaky clown!

You gottta love it when lawnmower man's legs move.

Originally I posted:  I have no idea what this has to do with Halloween, but it is super cool!

Since my original post, Fred has informed me that this is a tunnel to hell.  I guess I don't watch enough horror movies.

The End of a Halloween Era

We have come to the end of an era.  I told the kids that this would be our last Halloween.  We had a good run, but the kids are getting older.  And, let's not forget that it will be a long, long time before Halloween falls on a weekend again.

For the last several years, we have been celebrating Halloween in Allen with the Garstka/Turner family.  Debi's family dropped out this year, because they had to have the girls back in Waco that evening.  That left Jessie without any teenagers to hang with.  We ended up dropping her off at a friend's house.  I didn't even get a picture of her.  She was a bumble bee.  Let me tell you.  It was quite the task getting her a costume.  She had to have a store bought costume.  No homemade costume would do for my girl.  The teen costumes were so inappropriate.  We had to buy leggings to wear under the bottoms, and a jacket to wear over the top.  By the time we were done, I have no idea how much we spent on that little bumble bee costume!

In order to fortify our bodies for the long night of trick or treating, we started off with a delicious bowl of chili.  I was quite the talk of the night, it seems they had never seen anyone eat around the beans!

Those tattoo sleeves look hot on Joanie!  I think she should consider making that look permanent!

After dinner, Susan and Joanie decided to get into the Halloween spirit.  Well, I'm not sure if they decided to get into the Halloween spirit or if Angela and Gina forced them to get into the Halloween spirit. 

Ally, Madison and Jonathan

The three cutest kids in the entire world

Chef Dave

Fred decided to try out Jonathan's mask

While the rest of us walked, Jeremy decided to ride an ostrich. 

Little Rylie kept asking "Daddy, why you ridin' a duck?"

I took this picture with the flash on, so you can clearly tell that it is Jonathan.  However, in the dark you couldn't really tell what was sitting in the chair.  We would direct the kids to go over to Jonathan and take two pieces of candy.  With his hairy hands and mask, they couldn't tell if he was real or not.  Just as the kids would get ready to take their two pieces of candy, Ally would pump fog at them.  Jonathan and Ally had quite the ghoulish set up going!

As always, thank you to the Garstka and Turner families for always making us feel welcome.  We love you all!  We had a blast!  I wish that Halloween could always be on a Saturday night, so that we could keep doing this every year.