Flour Baby

It is official! My future grandchildren are going to be in BIG trouble. Last Saturday, we had to drop Jess of at the church early for her Road Show. I assured her that I would take care of Baby Emma (I like to call her Flour Baby). I was entrusted with this sweet little five pound bag of flour. She was wearing a cute little onesie that both my kids had worn. She was swaddled in Jonathan’s favorite blanket as a toddler.

Fred, Jonathan and I decided to kill time before the show by hanging out in Lewisville. We went in to Walmart for about 45 minutes or so. I decided to leave Flour Baby in the car. I figured it was harmless. Who would know? Otherwise, I would end up looking like a nut case. I was afraid that security would call someone to haul me off. Think of how it would look… a grown woman walking around with a bag of flour swaddled in a baby blanket.

When we got back to the car, Fred realized what I had done. He got a big laugh. We stopped for dinner and he asked if I was going to leave the baby in the car, again. I smiled sheepishly and acknowledged that I indeed was going to leave the baby in the car. He is so silly. He cracked the window, so she would have some air. He assured me that should keep CPS from coming in to the restaurant and arresting me.

Oh, but it gets better. I decided to bring her into the church for the Road Show. I laid her across my lap. Before long, I realized that I was leaning into her with my elbows. Poor thing! I’m lucky that I didn’t bust the bag open with my elbows. Jess would have gotten failing grade for sure.

Jonathan was too short to see very well, so he kept getting on my lap. During this time, I would lay Flour Baby on his chair. That probably wasn’t the safest place for her, but she survived. His bony bottom was cutting off the circulation in my leg, so I would make him sit in his chair every so often. While we were going back and forth, we discovered that Flour Baby was absolutely in our way. So, I wrapped her up and shoved her under my chair. Again, not very safe, but she survived.

What was my biggest Flour Baby faux pas? After the show was over, I bent down to pick her up off the floor and I dropped her. She rolled across the floor (not very far – bags of flour don't really roll that well). My visiting teachers were sitting next to me. Oh, how they laughed and proclaimed that I wasn’t a very good grandmother! Thankfully, she survived.

P.S. I was wrapping Flour Baby in her blanket, when Fred asked, "Are you really going to swaddle that bag of flour?"  This intrigued Jonathan and he said, "Swaddle?  Does that mean that you are going to kill the baby?"  I never thought of it, but I guess the word swaddle does sound like it could be something violent.