Fishing Hole

Matthew and Jonathan had a great time together while we were visiting Grandma and PawPaw Larry.  Every morning they woke up at 7:00 a.m. and went down to fish off the dock.  Each morning, Fred and Larry took the boat out to fish.  With the boat out of its slip, the boys had a great little fishing hole. 

Jonathan, being a city boy, was fairly new to fishing.  His ability to focus on such an activity is somewhat limited.  He alternated between fishing and "caring" for the fish that they caught.  Notice the KFC bucket... that is where they kept the fish their prize fish.  We called it the Redneck Fish Keeper.  Jonathan's other job was to put the worm on the hook for Matthew.  For some reason, Matthew thought that Jonathan had some superior baiting method.

I think both boys will remember these moments for a very long time!

Setting Goals

Taken at my Granny and Papa's house in Malvern

We are in Horseshoe Bend, Arkansas visiting Fred's family.  Since this is taking the place of a family vacation, I decided to set some goals.  I love goals, because they give me something to work towards.

Donna's Goals for 2010 Vacation

• Work on an Umbro Eyewear presentation for work (I know... lame)
• Complete my time sheets that are broken out by brand for work (again, I know... lame)
• Finish my Nicholas Sparks book - this book is taking me forever to finish, because I don't really like it, but I don't want to stop reading it.  (I know... crazy)
• Register the kids online for school (oh yeah... I've completed that one)
• Work on my blog (in process)
• Exercise (trying to get back into the swing of exercising - I took almost a month off)
• Look at Continuing Education classes and develop a plan to take a few (in process)
• Take lots of pictures (in process)
• Time on the boat and in the lake (in process)
• Relax (I know... I don't excel at relaxing)
• Visit my Granny and Papa's old house in Malvern (complete)
• Visit my Granny and Papa's graves (will complete on 8/12)

I think I am doing a pretty good job!  Having goals and a plan make me very happy!

Trip Down Memory Lane

We are in Arkansas this week visiting Fred's family.  We (really it was me, but I like to say we) decided that we should tack on a few other visits as well.  The first stop was Malvern, Arkansas.  This is where I was born, and where my dad grew up.  I was amazed that I was able to easily navigate us to my Granny and Papa's old house. 

Once there, I unexpectedly welled up with tears.  There were other people's cars parked around the property.  There were other people's belongings packed tightly in the garage.  We drove up to the house early yesterday morning.  I was thankful, because I felt odd walking around in front of someone else's house. 

I was surprised at the emotion I felt.  I saw a light on in my Granny's kitchen.  I wondered who was cooking in her kitchen?  I even went so far as to wonder if she was cooking her favorite granddaughter (really, I was her only granddaughter) ham and macaroni and cheese for lunch with chocolate pie for dessert. 

I inhaled the fragrant scent of the pine trees, and wished that we could have gone back in time.  Just for one day.  Just so you know... this sentimental thing runs in my family.  It is genetically passed down to me by both of my parents (mostly my dad, though).

I love this house!

And, I love these trees.

Photography was difficult.  The morning sun was killing me, and my lens kept fogging over.  Plus, I was trying to be discreet, and I didn't want all of their belongings in my picture!  So, there were a few challenges.  All in all, it wasn't exactly the same as I remembered it, but I'm glad I dropped by!

Tired...

Warning:  These are my crazy ramblings.  Feel free to skip them.  Basically, I used our family blog as a forum to get my thoughts together.  This post has allowed me to find a way to come to terms with all that I have been feeling for the last month.  Just so you know, it could be a real snooze fest!

Have you ever been so tired that you can't muster up enough energy to even do the things that you love?  I love to take pictures of my family.  I love to blog.  I love to work out.  Have I been doing those things over the last month?  No. 

I am tired.  I am physically tired.  I am emotionally tired.  And, sadly, I am spiritually tired.  My testimony is strong.  I know what I should be doing.  I'm just too tired to get started.  How did I get to this point?

As I've shared before, our marketing department went through drastic restructuring.  A total of three people were let go.  In addition, we have one person on maternity leave.  One person is in our art department waiting for his projects to be assigned.  We have two freelance artists that also wait for their work to be assigned.  This leaves only two people doing the bulk of coordinating, organizing and assigning. 

While it is exhausting and overwhelming, the work is rewarding.  Definitely more rewarding than anything I've done in the past few years.  I had fallen into a place where I did nothing but create power point presentations and coordinate catalog production.  I am not sure if they weren't happy with me, or if they were trying to protect me.  If I didn't grow, then I might stay out of the spotlight where all the heat was happening.  I once asked to take on more, and I received additional administrative duties.  Not the direction I was hoping for.  However, there are no hard feelings.  The fault only lies with myself for not pushing harder.  I only have wonderful feelings for the people that have moved on.  I wish them the best of luck in their new endeavors.  And, I miss them dearly.

As happy as I am that I can use my brain a little more, I am tired.  We've been told that the empty positions will not be filled this year.  Part of me is relieved.  I'm not ready for a new boss.  That means more change.  The other part of me is worried that we might not be able to keep up this pace for the next five months. 

As for myself, I have to figure out a way to leave the fatigue at work.  I feel like I have wasted a month of our valuable summer.  I come home too tired to walk down to the pool for a swim.  Too tired to cook.  Too tired to play games.  Too tired to work out (a known stress reliever).  Too tired to read my scriptures or any other book, for that matter (also a known stress reliever).  I have to get myself in the mindset that will allow me to be more productive at home.

I am making a promise to my family that I am going to find a way to be my old energetic self.  We are going to celebrate and enjoy the remainder of our summer.  We are going to have fun, and get back to doing memorable things together.

Baby Lainey

We finally got to meet Baby Lainey.  This is my brother's first child, and it seems like we have been waiting forever to have another baby in the family!  We traveled to San Antonio this weekend.  It was a whirlwind trip that only allowed us one day with Lainey (and her parents).

  Jessie really enjoyed holding her baby cousin.  I'm sure that she will have even more fun with her when she gets older.

And, then there was Jonathan.  He was absolutely head over heels in love with Lainey.   When she cried, he would lightly rub her back.  He especially liked to pet her head... like she was a little puppy.  He would coo, "Hi Lainey" over and over. 

Jonathan tried his hand at holding her.  He was sitting on the floor, and I don't think she found his scrawny arms very comfy.  We should have had him on the couch with a pillow, and he would have been more successful. We will remember that for next time.

Thank you , Jeff and Emma, for a delicious lunch and for sharing Lainey with us.

Restructuring

Warning:  Pity Party Alert!!!

The company that I work for decided to do some restructuring.  I was fortunate enough to survive the restructuring... for now.  I guess they didn't get the memo that I am not a fan of change, and that I have a tender heart.  My two immediate bosses were the casualties in the restructuring, and everything unfolded before our eyes.  The sight of these two people being reduced to packing their belongings into boxes pretty much sent me over the edge.  At some point, I think I was close to hyperventilating.  From there, I started muttering a curse word under my breath (I am not proud of that one).   Then, I think that I started praying out loud.  I'm really not sure what all I did.  We now have video surveillance in our office.  Hopefully, it won't be played back for me. 

Change is the pits, and I don't like venturing out into uncharted waters.  I have worked for this company for 15 years - my entire adult life.  I celebrated my first wedding anniversary, and had two babies while working here.  I think that is why I take it all so personally.  It isn't just a job for me.  My entire life is intertwined in this place, and I never should have let that happen.  There is also the fear that I could be next.  I could be the next one on the chopping block.  After 15 years, I have to start over proving my worth to the company.  What if I can't do it?  Just for the record, I don't work to bring in a little extra spending money.  I work to help pay the mortgage and put groceries on the table.

I have spent the entire day worrying about the people that lost their jobs, and for my own fate.  Now, I've decided just to go on.  Either I prove my worth, and they decide that I am an asset.  Or, they let me go, and I have the opportunity to branch out and learn something new.  Either way, it will be okay.

Miracles Never Cease

I know, I know... a family bike ride isn't anything new for the Fortenberrys and it certainly isn't blogworthy.  Oh, but it is too me.  Not only did Fred and Jonathan accompany me, but ....

Jessica came along, too!!!!  I wanted to document the moment, but she wasn't wearing any make-up.  I was only allowed to take a picture of her back.  Bike riding isn't Jessie's "thing."  She is frequently out and about in our neighborhood, but she walks... no matter how far away her friends live.  We were certainly surprised (and very happy) when she decided to come along!