Memories of Parents' Day with Jonathan

I sent this email to my friend Angela on 2/16/08.  She kept it all this time and resent it to me this afternoon.  I just about fell on the floor laughing.  I had to post so that I could remember the time that I took Jonathan to Parents' Day!

This morning I took Jonathan to his martial arts class.   We walk in and see the huge signs posted everywhere declaring that it is PARENTS' DAY!  I absolutely hate parents' day. 

This particular parent's day was especially rough.  The first drill involved me holding a big pad in front of myself while Jonathan did a back kick.  He was told to kick at our privates. Nice.  Only he was having a lot of trouble.  I guess because of the height disparity and his depth perception issues, he wasn't hitting the pad with his back kick.  Instead he was kicking my knees... very hard!  Luckily, we only worked that drill for a few minutes.

Then we had to work a more complicated drill with our kids.  I had to sit on my knees.  Jonathan was laying on his back with his legs wrapped around my waist.  From there he had to use his right arm to lock my right arm.  He used his left hand to pull my head down.  Fun, huh?  It gets better.  From there he had to swing his legs around and wrap them around my neck.  We did this over and over for what seemed like an eternity. 

The instructors were walking around checking the kids and parents to make sure that they were doing it correctly.  The teenage instructor, Mr. Paul comes over to see how we're doing. I guess Jonathan wasn't swinging his hips correctly when he went for the headlock.  BTW, since it was raining, I had my hair pulled up in a pony tail.  At this point, it has almost been completely pulled out. I am looking really rough.   Mr. Paul sits down on the matt next to Jonathan and motions for me.  I am a bit confused and think that I misunderstood.  I choose not to move.  He motions for me again and tells Jonathan to watch.  It was like a bad dream.  I couldn't believe it.  Did this young guy really think that I was going to perform the drill?  I am completely humiliated as he proceeds to grab my arm and head and then wrap himself around my neck. 

The worst part was that we were right in front of the window where some of the other parents stood watching.  One of the parents happened to be the dad of Jonathan's friend, Jake.  It is even more humiliating when you can identify the face of one of your observers.

They don't prepare you for these kinds of moments in those Parenting how-to books!