Celebrating At TSAS

We had a great time celebrating the graduating Seniors at The Saint Anthony School.  I teared up a little during the ceremony, because we only have one more year before Jessica graduates.  TSAS is so small that they can really make graduation special. 

 Jessica's best friend graduated and that leaves her without any girls close in age.  I think she is a little sad, but I know she is up for the challenge!  Jess and Sarah have had a lot of sleepovers this year and Sarah's parents were very complimentary of Jess.  It is always nice when other adults speak highly of your kids.

Sweet Patrick is so fun and such a joy to be around.  Jessica was so patient with him and I know he appreciated her friendship.  He played piano for everyone at graduation.  He had a fabulous time during the celebration afterwards.  Unfortunately, he had so much fun that he let himself get dehydrated and pass out.  It was a scary end to graduation.  Jess is such a sweetheart that she left him a message letting him know that she hoped he was feeling okay.  The next day he and his mom were at the school ready for the end of school year trip to IHOP.  What a trooper!

The school had a DJ at the graduation celebration.  Jessica and her friends had the best time dancing.  It was so fun to watch them.  They were so cute.

I feel so thankful and blessed that we found such a wonderful school for Jess to finish out her high school career.  TSAS has made such a huge difference in her life.  She has made wonderful friendships, learned so many skills, including compassion.

We're Still Alive & Kicking

We're still alive!  Just trying to recuperate after our fun Memorial Day weekend in Llano.  Plus, we've had a busy week full of activities and trying to catch up after being gone for several days.

Stay tuned... I'll be back!

Summer Bucket List

Last week during Family Home Evening, we talked about our summer bucket list.  We put items on there like camping, hiking, visiting a lake.  Then there were things like make homemade cookies or taking Mollie to the dog park.  My favorite was reading just one book.  I'm not asking for the world here!  I just want them to read one book.  I hope this will help us to make sure that we are always keeping our  family focused. Whether the activity is simple like a silly string war or requires more planning like a fishing trip.  Either way, all activities cost little or no money.  Or, is something that we already pay for.

I am looking forward to summer and hope that we all have a wonderful time and enjoy each other's company!

Yay, summer!  We've been waiting on you.

Freddy Fortenberry's House

Jessie and I were out and about in East Plano.  We found ourselves with time on our hands, so we drove by the house that Fred lived in when he was in high school.  We called Fred to make sure that we had the right address.  Jess hung her head out the window and took a couple of pictures with my phone.  Just as we pulled away, someone walked out the front door.  I wasn't sure if it was coincidence or if we were busted for spying!  Either way, it was kind of fun.  We sent the pictures to Fred who doesn't remember his own house!  He has no recollection of there being windows on the front of the house.  I explained that there had to be windows.  One of those would have been his bedroom window and that would have made for an awfully dark room.  I guess our memory changes things.

Pizza Night, Part Deux

A couple of weeks ago, we tried out Fortenberry Family Four Pizza Night.  It was fun, but one of the pizzas was almost inedible.

I refused to be conquered by pizza dough.  I bought a second pizza stone.  I turned my stove down and cooked my pizza for less time and refused to obey the instructions that said that I should put my rack on the bottom rung.

And, whah-lah (or however you spell that), we were much more successful!  Only catastrophe was when I trying to heat the olive oil for my chicken and onions while working with my dough.  This girl does not excel at multi-tasking.  It takes a lot of muscle to get burnt olive oil off the bottom of a pan.

Jessie's Spinach Alfredo pizza was not pretty.  I could not make that pizza round for anything.  But, the BBQ Chicken pizza was pretty spectacular looking and both were delicious.

I say next week we branch out and pick a new flavor.  Unfortunately, I'm dealing with teenagers.  They really aren't into branching out and trying new flavors.

I'm just relieved that I tackled pizza dough.  Next, I'm going to try breads and pies.  I WILL overcome my fear of dough!

Working Mom Blues

Pei Wei Date With Jessica

Being the mom of two teenagers is the most rewarding yet challenging job in the world.  I love being a mom more than anything.  I also love my "real world" job.  I enjoy it so much that I often think about going back to school to get my Masters in either Marketing or Advertising.  That would be in a time far, far off.  Like after my kids are fully educated and grown. 

One of the hardest parts about being a mom is feeling that tug between work and home.  If I need to leave to take a kid to an appointment or attend a special function, I feel like I'm letting my co-workers down. If I let my son walk home in torrential rains, I clearly have let my son down.  Every day these two parts of my life push and pull until I feel like I'm not doing a very good job taking care of either one.

In an ideal world, I would have been a stay-at-home mom.  But, that wasn't to be my world.  So, I have to make the best out of this world.  My kids have to wait until the weekend before the good meals are served up or before we pull out the fun activities.  There are so many disadvantages.  I could make a long list of them.  Hopefully, they will remember all of the special things that we did as a family, and not what they missed.  More than anything, I hope that they remember that they were loved.

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."  

-Russell M. Nelson

Be Of Good Cheer

"We should honor the Savior's declaration to 'be of good cheer.' (Matthew 14:27)   Indeed, it seems to  me we may be more guilty of breaking that commandment than any other!"

-Jeffrey R. Holland

So, with that said, be happy and be of good cheer as you go about your week!

Awesome Llamas?

Mr. Nathan's Awesome Llama's made their team shirts for Field Day.  He must be very proud!

Jessica was very excited about Field Day.  She has spent weeks helping to plan the day, but it looks like she and her friends could have put more thought and work into their shirts.

Let's be fair, though.  T-shirt transfers can be tricky. Most of us would have redone our shirts.  Not 16-18 year olds.  They decide it is cool and just roll with it.  You gotta love teenagers!

Donna's Workout For Killer Abs

I have been sitting on a yoga ball at work.  Does that count as exercise?  I'm being serious.  I don't have time to workout and I thought sitting on this ball for 8+ hours would give me killer abs.  I am always looking for the easy way out.  I'm not a cheater... just looking for shortcuts.

Date Night

This was my cute little date last night.  Isn't she adorable?  We need to work on smiling instead of smirking.  When she is my age, she is going to look back and find that she went through a phase where she rarely posed for pictures.  And, when she did pose for a picture, a silly face was always necessary.  I hope she feels bad for the picture deficit she caused me to have in her teenage years.

On a truly exciting note, I figured out how to upload pictures from my phone on to blogger!  Go Me! It wasn't difficult, but it wasn't as easy as clicking on the 'upload pictures from phone' button.

Generations

“There are few things more powerful than the faithful prayers of a righteous mother.”

-Boyd K. Packer

I want to wish everyone a Happy Belated Mother’s Day to those that have children, or who have influenced the life of a child.  You are appreciated. 

I am really kicking myself for not taking pictures yesterday.  We had a wonderful day.  I love that Mother’s Day is celebrated on Sunday.  I love being treated extra-special at church.  At our church being treated special means they ply you with chocolate all day long.  Treat after treat was passed out and there were so many talks and lessons about mothers and families that touched my heart.

After church, we had my parents over for an early dinner.  Let me tell you, this family knows how to prepare for an early dinner.  We had barbecue chicken in the Crockpot and potato salad already prepared in the refrigerator.  After church, you don’t stand between the Fortenberry’s and dinner. 

Afterwards, we had a fun and informative Family Home Evening.  We learned about our family ancestors.  MaMaw, Grady, Fred and I all shared a picture and a story about a family ancestor.  We all learned something new and saw pictures that we hadn’t seen before.  Fred thought the kids already knew about his dad, but they really didn’t know anything about him.  Jonathan had plenty of questions about his grandfather.  The best part was that Jonathan also had plenty of HARD questions for Grady and then commented that Grady took way too long on his turn. 

We learned that Grady had a pet pig when he was growing up and we learned that half of my grandfather’s family was born in Tennessee and the other half was born in Arkansas.  Jonathan wanted to know which siblings were born in Tennessee and which were born in Arkansas and what years they were born.  I just love Jonathan’s questions.  He keeps you on your toes.

MaMaw taught us about her grandmother, Dovie.  We learned that she had three sons and two grandsons deployed in WWII at the same time.  And, the biggest thing that we learned was that Aunt Judy was everyone’s favorite, but MaMaw isn’t bitter!

Fred taught us about his Dad that left this earthly world way too soon.  He told us about how he was stung by a jellyfish and how he later had to have his leg amputated.  He also told us about fishing trips and father/son campouts.  He and his dad and enjoy doing much of the same things that Fred and Jonathan enjoy doing.  Hopefully, these hobbies will pass on to Jonathan and his son, too.

I told about my Granny.  We talked about how she played basketball and softball in school, and how she only went to school until the 8^th grade.  This was confusing to my kids, but we explained that was very common back then.  The best story that we told was that she married my Papa on December 24, 1929.  The marriage was witnessed by my Papa’s brother and his date.  After the wedding, they each went back to their own homes.  They hadn’t told their parents and my granny was afraid that her daddy was going to kill her.  I think her sister eventually ratted on her.  I passed around pictures and her billfold. 

At first the kids weren’t sure what to make of this activity, but they quickly warmed up and had a great time.   As we started spouting out little known and interesting facts, they really started enjoying the activity.  It is so very important for us to remember and to learn about our ancestors.

“There really can be a bond and a sense of belonging that ties together generations. ... This bond gives us a sense of identity and purpose. Our ties with the eternal world suddenly become very real, sharpening our life’s focus and lifting our expectations. ... We can discover within ourselves a reservoir of patience and endurance that we never will find without the deep commitment that grows from a sense of real belonging. Exerting such immovable loyalty to another person teaches us how to love – indeed, how to be more like the Savior. Our sense of belonging to one another...foreshadows our belonging in the eternal family of God. Our willingness to discipline our individual desires enough to honor [our] loved ones prepares us to belong to Him who is our Father.” Bruce C. Hafen, Liahona, June 1998, 16

Backside Of 40

It appears that I have turned this week's posts into my personal confessions.  Well, here is one more.  This is a big shocker... 41 has not been kind to me.

I turned 41 in February and I am feeling every one of those 41 years.  Jonathan turned 13 around the same time that I turned 41.  I have noticed that he needs lots of sleep.  Seems that I am going through the same thing.  I used to happily (OK... happily is a stretch) pop up and take a shower a little before 6:00.  Now, I just want to sleep as long as possible.  I get up at 6:30 only because I help my sleepy teenagers move along.  If I had my way, I would stay in my cozy bed until 7:00 or later. 

To accommodate my new schedule, I have started bathing at night.  It helps my mornings run so much smoother and allows me a few more minutes of sleep.

I am officially an old woman!  When did this happen?

Family Home Evening Struggles

Since I confessed in my last post that the Fortenberry Four is far from perfect, I will keep going with my confession.  I have struggled with Family Home Evening since my kids were very small.  We've been regular, semi-regular and non-existent with our FHE over the years.  In the last year, I have struggled.  If family dinners are going to kill my son, then FHE is going to kill my daughter.  

I have tried to be diligent in making sure that we gather together, and I am learning the flexibility is the key for our family.  For instance, I let Jessica plan this week's FHE.  I told her that we could have a movie night, if she wanted.   I gave her two guidelines.  The movie had to be PG (no PG-13 for FHE) and it had to have a message.  She picked an old favorite - Raise Your Voice with Hilary Duff.  I was worried that it would be too much of a chick flick for Jonathan, but he enjoyed it and it had a great message.  The message from the movie was that you can never give up despite the trials that come into your life.  I tied in a favorite quote from President Uchtdorf that fit Jessica's message.  Family Home Evening got a lot easier when I relaxed and made it more flexible. 

Next week, I am planning on talking about Family History.  Hopefully, it will be fun and no one will feel like I am torturing them or trying to kill them. 

What I've learned from teaching Sunday School to the 14 and 15 year olds at church is that I am not the only parent that isn't perfect.  I love those crazy teenagers and they are so honest and it makes me wonder what nuggets of truth my own kids are sharing with their teachers.   Many of them have shared with me that their parents struggle with FHE, too.  That makes me feel so much better!

How Mom Keeps Her Cool... Most Of The Time

When my kids were little, I used to lose my mind with frustration.  I don’t have the garden variety type of kids.  Mine take extra patience and I think that I wasn’t always forthcoming in that area.

 I remember picking those precious little pumpkins up at their after-school program when they were in elementary school.  I would always have one dawdling and one pulling on me ready to go or begging for something.  I always had my super-calm and patient Mom persona going.  The director, whom I loved and adored, would always comment on my great ability to stay loving and patient.  I always felt guilty and would shake my head, because I knew it wasn’t true. 

Along the road, I learned a few tricks.  Getting upset doesn’t help anyone.  My daughter is like a brick in the morning and has a hard time getting up and moving.  My happy-go-lucky son has turned 13 and his body is requiring more sleep.  He wakes up, but you can bet he is going to be in a foul mood.  I could lose my temper trying to get them moving, but it isn’t going to make them move any faster.  It is just going to cause drama and slow the morning process down to an even slower crawl.  Sometimes you have to take a deep breath and work with them, rather than against them.

In our family, we have a saying… “taking a break.”   This means one or more family members need to cool off, before proceeding with any conversation.  It is easy to look at my kids and husband and know when they need to “take a break.”  It can be harder to look inside myself.  My son has even set up a special place in his closet for cooling off.  He doesn’t need it very often, but I will say that during the months that he was approaching 13, he used it often.   Turning 13 can be hard, and bring lots of emotions with it.

We are also trying to learn about the tone in our voice.  We have tried to coach Jonathan into hearing himself when he talks.  He uses a tone that indicates that he is mad or frustrated, but gets defensive when you point it out to him.  On the other hand, we’ve learned that he has very sensitive ears.  I have to be careful how I approach him or how I am having a conversation with him.  He perceives frustration if my voice gets louder.  He doesn’t listen to how I’m talking – just how loud.  He also perceives my voice to be louder than it really is.  Now, there are often times that I also use a frustrated or sarcastic tone in voice – not just what Jonathan is misreading as frustrated.  Thankfully, I have a family that is honest and will call me out on it when my voice slips into sarcastic, frustrated or defensive mode.  I usually don’t realize that I have used that tone or didn’t mean it.  Sometimes, after being called out, I completely realize it.  For instance, my daughter and I were running late and I sarcastically said, “well, we are so late that we don’t have to worry about that school zone this morning.”  She felt like I was just inserting the knife and twisting it after she already felt bad or had consequences for being late. 

The biggest thing that I’ve learned about losing my cool is to just apologize.  If I catch myself losing my cool or if my kids have pointed out that I could have used a kinder tone, I will apologize.  If I can’t admit when I make mistake, how will they ever learn to admit and fix their own mistakes.

And, don't forget to pray... always!  You can never pray, too much.  Trust me.

Now, please don’t think that I’ve figured out how to stay cool and keep from losing my mind all of the time.  I am raising teenagers, after all.  The Fortenberry’s work well with a schedule, and anything that changes that schedule can increase my stress.  Running late, if Fred is out of town or at a meeting, traveling and visiting other families all increase the pressure I feel.  If I am not careful, I can start biting heads off. 

Luckily, I have gotten pretty good about keeping my cool.  Teenagers are beautiful creatures.  They can take patience, but they are so precious and worth every bit of gray hair that they’ve given me.

Daily Do's and Family Dinner

I aspire to be one of those perfect Mom's.  You know, the ones that have their children gathered at their feet every morning. Those beautiful and reverent children are listening to mom read the scriptures and participate happily in morning prayers. 

Her house is perfectly clean and she does awesome volunteer work at her kids' schools, because she is a stay-at-home-mom.  Her children love her for her sacrifices.

After her husband gets home from work, she calls her family to the table for dinner, where they enjoy a scrumptious home cooked meal.  They sit around the table smiling and enjoying every one's company.  No one is longing to play a video game, watch TV or text their friend.  These children and their dad love to spend time at the table with this mom. 

Her kids have a flawless evening routine of watching a show together as a family, before getting ready for bed.  A family prayer is said and they all bid goodnight ready to start over in the morning.

This mom also plans the perfect family home evening lessons and activities and she teaches the best lessons at church. 

This is the mom I aspire to be.  I hope you are all sitting down for this declaration.  My reality is that I am far from perfect, and my family is far from perfect.  I know you are shocked! 

My Daily Do's... those seemingly simple things that we've been asked to do with our family... are my Daily Sometimes or even worse, my Daily Don'ts.  Instead of becoming increasingly frustrated with myself, I decided to work on my Daily Do's one Daily Do at a time.  I am famous for making wide sweeping changes that leaves my family frustrated and unhappy.  I thought that if I worked on it one element at a time, I would have more success.

The first Daily Do that I tackled was Family Dinner.  You would think this would be easy enough, right?  My sweet husband, needs constant visual stimulation.  It doesn't matter what is going on in our house.  The TV must be on.  He needs to see things fluttering across the screen.  My son has inherited that same gene.  When we bought our house, I noticed that the kitchen table was not within the sight of the TV.  It didn't occur to me to be concerned until we moved in.  My husband would quickly grab his plate and run to the living room. 

Later, we had children.  I would sit in the kitchen with the kids and Fred would sit in the living room watching TV.  And then, my kids reached teenagerdom.  My youngest, follows Dad's lead and runs with his plate to watch TV.  My oldest, often sits at the table.  I try to sit with her, but she is on a mission.  She wants to eat and then move on to her next activity. 

I decided enough is enough, and I am so grateful that my husband got on the bandwagon with me.  Family Dinners shouldn't be that hard, but you would think that I was killing my son.  He says it is the most boring time of the day for him.  My daughter has been more accepting.  However, there are times that, she too, feels that the family dinner will kill her  Those would be the times when she is told to put her phone down during dinner.

As a family we are also tackling Family Home Evening and keeping the Sabbath Day Holy.  Once I feel like we are sufficiently handling the three things that I've set out to accomplish, then we will add on.  Family prayer will be our next Daily Do to accomplish.  Jonathan and I say a prayer together everyday, but we are the only participants... right now. 

Now you know that the Fortenberry Four is far from perfect.