Saying Goodbye

We said goodbye to our four-legged pal, Gracie, on Saturday.  It was a sad day.  Gracie has been a part of our family for 16 years.  She is almost exactly one year younger than Jess.  Neither one of my kids know life without her.

Choosing to put her to sleep was dramatic and sad.  I didn't think it was fair for me to choose to end her life.  I felt that she needed to die naturally.  In the end, Gracie just didn't have any plans to die naturally and was suffering.  Thursday night was very rough and Fred said that we needed to let her go.  And, I angrily explained to him that he would be doing it by himself.  However, my heart softened.  I knew he was right and I certainly knew that I owed it to Gracie to be with her during her last moments.  She has been dependent on me for everything these last couple of years.  How could I leave her when she really needed me?

We didn't take her to our regular vet.  We took her to a friend's vet in East Plano.  Gracie is petrified of riding in the car.  She didn't make a sound the entire drive. The vet was so sweet and compassionate.  She made sure that I knew that we made the right decision and that I didn't feel guilty.  The act of euthanizing her was so sad and awful.  I will remember it forever.  When it was finally over, the sweet vet led us out the back door and told us we could call on Monday and let them know what arrangements we wanted made for Gracie.

It feels so different not having Gracie.  We miss her so much and there are reminders of her everywhere.  Having a senior dog is hard.  I wish we hadn't had to experience the last two years, but they were also really sweet years.

Mostly, I want to remember the crazy dog that drove us all nuts.  The dog that slept at the foot of our bed for way too many years.  The dog that stayed close to the kids waiting for food to fall.  The dog that loved to eat crayons.  The dog that stayed ever vigilant when Fred was out of town.  The dog that sat on my lap at all times.

We love and miss you, Gracie.  Our home will never be the same.